"We must select the illusion which appeals to our temperament and embrace it with passion, if we want to be happy" - Cyril Connolly
Once a friend talked to me about a problem she had in her life. She started talking about all the negative things, every single negative thing; she let it all out. She seemed so down, so depressed, and she was asking me for advice. Now, I didn’t know what else I could’ve told her to make her feel better; I couldn’t have possibly just grabbed all the negative things from her life and throw it far away, out into space, in order for it to disappear. I was losing hope and thought to myself, I may not be able to help her after all…until I saw a piece of paper and a black pen.
I took the black pen and drew a small dot on the blank piece of paper. I asked my friend, “What do you see?” She looked at me as if I was nuts but she answered my question anyway: “A black dot” she says. I just stared at her for a couple of moments wondering if she knew where I was getting at. “Do you want to know what I see?” I asked her. She just continued staring at me, eyes filled with questions and questions yearning for answers. She probably thought this was totally irrelevant to her problem, but she gave in anyway. “What do you see Yvanne?” I took the piece of paper in my hands, held it up as if it were a priceless treasure and told her “I see white. I see all the beautiful white that overpowers the colour black on this paper. In my eyes, black is just a distant dot, something I shouldn’t even worry about and it’s just there to add some colour to that piece of paper, you know: a bit of adventure.”
It’s funny you know, for some reason it’s every human beings instinct to look at the negative things in their lives first. “My life is not good because _____________!” etc. This is why many people tend to be depressed and sad because they choose to look at the “black dots” on their piece of paper, they never bother looking at the beautiful white surrounding those black dots. I told my friend that there are so many things in her life that she should be thankful about, so many blessings and positive things that cannot just be put aside. There was no doubt that those great things in her life outnumber the negative things she told me about. Then she asked me what happens when she reaches that point in her life where the black dots may outnumber the white, “What if all I see then are a whole bunch of black dots?” I took the pen again and practically filled that sheet with black dots and told her “It’s all a matter of choice.” The beauty of life is in the eyes of the beholder. We may not have realized this yet, but we, as an individual, choose to believe things: we believe the things that we choose. And it’s those simple choices that slowly creates the story of your life. We can choose to see the black dots, or we can choose to see the white space, no matter how little there may be: We can choose to believe we’re not living a good life or we can choose to believe in the beauty of our lives. The beauty of life is in the eyes of the beholder.
I took the black pen and drew a small dot on the blank piece of paper. I asked my friend, “What do you see?” She looked at me as if I was nuts but she answered my question anyway: “A black dot” she says. I just stared at her for a couple of moments wondering if she knew where I was getting at. “Do you want to know what I see?” I asked her. She just continued staring at me, eyes filled with questions and questions yearning for answers. She probably thought this was totally irrelevant to her problem, but she gave in anyway. “What do you see Yvanne?” I took the piece of paper in my hands, held it up as if it were a priceless treasure and told her “I see white. I see all the beautiful white that overpowers the colour black on this paper. In my eyes, black is just a distant dot, something I shouldn’t even worry about and it’s just there to add some colour to that piece of paper, you know: a bit of adventure.”It’s funny you know, for some reason it’s every human beings instinct to look at the negative things in their lives first. “My life is not good because _____________!” etc. This is why many people tend to be depressed and sad because they choose to look at the “black dots” on their piece of paper, they never bother looking at the beautiful white surrounding those black dots. I told my friend that there are so many things in her life that she should be thankful about, so many blessings and positive things that cannot just be put aside. There was no doubt that those great things in her life outnumber the negative things she told me about. Then she asked me what happens when she reaches that point in her life where the black dots may outnumber the white, “What if all I see then are a whole bunch of black dots?” I took the pen again and practically filled that sheet with black dots and told her “It’s all a matter of choice.” The beauty of life is in the eyes of the beholder. We may not have realized this yet, but we, as an individual, choose to believe things: we believe the things that we choose. And it’s those simple choices that slowly creates the story of your life. We can choose to see the black dots, or we can choose to see the white space, no matter how little there may be: We can choose to believe we’re not living a good life or we can choose to believe in the beauty of our lives. The beauty of life is in the eyes of the beholder.
My friend was starting to get it, she was starting to understand and see the beauty in her life and was slowly disregarding the negative things. Just when I thought I was done talking, I saw a glass of water.
I filled it up to its half point and asked my friend the same question I asked her about the black dot. “What do you see?” She told me that she saw a cup that’s half empty. I told her, "I see a cup that’s half full." Remember, it’s all a matter of choice. We can choose to believe the negative things; that the cup is already half empty, or the positive things; that the cup is still half full. We believe what we choose to believe, and if we choose the good things in life, we believe we have a good life.Life is a big illusion; just like the glass of water and the black dot. At first, you don’t know what you should be seeing, you don’t know what to believe in; you just don’t understand. However, the beauty of illusions is that you’re given the power to choose and the power to see only what you want to see; putting aside the things you don’t want to see. It’s hard, I know, our vision can easily be clouded by the negative things in our lives. However, when you reach that line where all you see when you look at that piece of paper is a beautiful white and all you think of when you see that glass of water is how grateful you are that it’s still half full, you feel this certain happiness and satisfaction about your life that you probably never have before because you were too distracted with the black dots and the cup being half empty. Life is a big illusion and it’s all a matter of choice. Remember, the b e a u t y of life is in the e y e s of the b e h o l d e r.
What do YOU see?
What do YOU see?
Yvanne Dandan
F2XPRESS
